reports say the tornado touched down some time two weeks ago, the skies were clear around it and there was no indication of any storm action in the area.

the man caught up in the center of the vortex reported being able to see clear sky out of the top of the funnel and that once inside, he said, didn't feel much at all. All he remembered thinking was something a friend had once advised him if this should ever happen. Keep your elbows tucked in.

So he did.

Friend M leaves his partner, leaves his life. Comes home. For good. One less reason to visit Phoenix (only one, still got another though...) and we relax back into each other's company. And then he tells me. He's going back. 4 days notice, he picks his life (back) up and hauls ass back south in his truck. His whole life in one vehicle... you can take the man out of the military, but you can't take it out of him. The last night was a mess.. we went out to eat, sat and chatted like nothing was happening, only way to get past the obvious reason of another 'goodbye so long, be safe' meal... At 2.30am I finally left his place. Eyes like pee-holes in the snow, shaking and feeling like one of the few pieces of a family I have here in America was once again being surgically removed. Pass the anesthetic someone. I want to be numb. He wasn't much better. We stood outside in the dark and just looked at each other, I leant my head on his shoulder and mustered 'l love you' and heard him reply 'I love you too, this is getting old, I need to stop leaving people.'

Friend P takes me out 4 wheeling, frieman, paramedic, all round mountie. Out in the middle of nowhere we build a fire, tickle a few beers and watch the fading daylight. And then he asks it... 'if you were to to just up and leave, and I get the feeling one day it might happen, would you tell me?'

Stunned.

I've never told anyone about anything like that. So where this is coming from, I dunno. It kind of annoys me a little that someone is on my trail about things I've only thought about and never spoken. It took some thinking, I hadn't even thought about who and if I would mention to anyone, SHOULD it ever happen. I did some fast-track thinking as to why he asked.. I must be giving off some sign of not being my happy self, something betraying what is going on on the inside. I made a note to kick the living shit out of myself for being disloyal to me.

"yup, I think I would", and continued, "although I'm not sure how much notice I would give you, maybe a call on the way to the airport or driving out of town. I'd stay in touch." Bit of silence, fire crackling, both of us staring at the flames...

"Well that wouldn't give me much time to sort things out really, if I wanted to come with you."



And I thought I was stunned the first time.



"Dude, you got kids, the wife, home, work, life, you got it all going on," I counter. He shrugs his shoulders and says something that I can't remember. No, honestly, I can't, It was like being underwater. Everything muffled and me there, swimming in a riptide of new reality.


I wanted to go see "The Departed" this week and then someone emailed me telling EXACTLY why they didn't like it because, they said, (highlight to see spoiler) "the bastard kills off everyone in the movie, completely ruined it, I feel ripped off!" Well thank YOU very much, Rose Nylund...


So yeah, the weather has been unsettled, I've immersed myself in music, found some wonderful new artists (Ulrich Schnauss among them) and been reading a lot. Just wish some of these clouds would pass and the sun would shine again. Like it used to.

Oh, and I have to make my way home to england to sort some unfinsihed 'family business'. You know, if I'd said Scicily that sentence would've sounded so totally different. Anyway, that, and I need to start listening to my own advice. And getting out more. And I can't remember if I brushed my teeth this morning.

Energy is love, love is movement, movement is life, life is what I am. Or something. It's like looking at a swimming pool, all the pretty swirly patterns, so lovely and although random, simple enough. Then you jump in, and it's all these strings twisting up around you, who knew water was this complicated. I didn't. And every time I jump in, I forget that I've forgotten that fact. Again.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 11:11 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.