...of Head-Up-Own-Arse Man.

I've seen The Queen. The movie. Helen Mirren as Eliabeth II. What an amazing 'love story' between old soul and young power, while some things were a bit slapdash and whether or not the private conversations prove to be true, the story really relates what happened on a national level. And I should know, I was there. The use of the Landrover as a metaphor for her monarchy and reign, and the use of the stag as metaphor for Diana was sublime and perfect.

I still need to see her portrayal of the first Elizabeth. A woman about whom I have read much and am impressed. Most of all by her words, written in 1582 on the death of a certain gentlemen to whom her heart beat most deeply...

I grieve and dare not show my discontent,
I love and yet am forced to seem to hate,
I do, yet dare not say I ever meant,
I seem stark mute but inwardly do prate.
I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned,
Since from myself another self I turned...
...let me live with some more sweet content,
Or die and so forget what love ere meant.

I've been reading about cameras that can tell what you are doing and report you for it! Soon we'll have cell phones that chide you for swearing while having a conversation, maybe even charge you a premium rate for each minute in which you spout obscenities.

Of course Ye Olde Queene came to visit the treasonous colonies and our lovely Prez made a mess of introducing her. Now Blair has come to say farewell too, but what annoyed me just a little was that all American media refered to the head of state of the U.K. as "the queen". Lowercase. Philistines. I still get picky over things like that.

I've been putting in long days preparing for a big project. And just like in all good chains of command and chaos, the project has been shelved a week before rollout. I feel fucked. And the bastard didn't even leave money on the nightstand.

So I've been burying myself in books and music. What's new.

And then there is website, whose name says it all (toss = english slang for masturbation).. Aparently there are less than 300 sperm donors in Britain and frankly, err, they're running low on stocks. So they're encouraging men to *cough* come forward and donate.

We're not going to bars anymore. Apparently. Although if I had something at home that was halfway as good as the pic in this story I think I'd want to be in my 'manspace' a lot more too. The article describes men's homes as playpens filled with gadgets. This disingenuous way of sectoring an otherwise integrated part of society really can rile me sometimes. How about an article that says women's bathroom cabinets and make up cases are nothing but playing house and dress up and they are childish. I told you it wound me up. Sometimes.

call me what you want. I bought a pair of these. And a pair of these. You'll see me, I'll be the one running at the side of the road early in the morning looking good. The site also sells one of my favorite old world indulgences, Truefitt & Hill Indian Lime After-Shave Balm. And I'll admit to it.. it's great for your nuts after you shave them.

I have a friend who was in Mexico for the recent Spencer Tunick photography spectacular - Thousands of people showing off their tittage, assery and tackle for the camera. he has a really big and distinctive dick but try as I might, I couldn't make him out in any of the available photographs. Shame.

Now, we've come to the serious part. Look, we've got to talk. I need to ask you something... How bad is this song, but moreover, what do you make of guys I mean, shakin' their asses like this... Oddly infectious. Emphasis on 'oddly'. Highlights are at 1:12 and then their shirts come off around 2:49 and whatever he is doing at 2:56 opens a whole new world to me. And I've seen a few worlds already. I can't work out if this is crap rap or some heretofore unknown homoerotic excercise video and class, if it is, then by 3:30 I've signed up for two classes a week. Whoever DJ Jubilee is, he has one fine ass and he ain't afraid of it. Now that's a man.

I should really see about a picture for the head of this post.

I've also learnt that you can get Tom of Finland as toile fabric. Now there's something to make granny look twice and swallow her teeth next time she comes to tea and sits on your sofa.

And finally, Ding-Dong... Avon Calling? Yes, well no, err, yes.. it's Derek Jeter of the NY Yankees with his own skin care range marketed by Avon.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 4:13 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.